The Importance of Hope

Today’s blog will take a much more editorial and conversational tone than some of my previous posts. I recently had the opportunity to be interviewed for the Manhattan Uranus, a tongue-in-cheek Facebook page. If you haven’t heard of it, it might be worth a look, as they seem to be quite popular and their page has a variety of informational and entertaining posts. One of the questions asked during their interview got me thinking about a theme that has often been on my mind throughout my life. To paraphrase the question, essentially asked how does one utilize open-ended questioning and exploration in the case where it seems like everything in one’s life, or more globally, is going poorly. The question cited multiple alarming events in the world and recent news and overall read as someone who may be feeling a lot of despair or hopelessness at the current state of the world.
 
To get a bit personal, I have at times struggled with depression and fought against an inclination towards being pessimistic. For a long part of my life, I struggled with always seeing the bad side of things or assuming that others had ill intentions or were malicious. I think what has helped me to become more positive and indeed hopeful is to get some perspective and to give myself permission to step back. Throughout history, there have been periods of social upheaval that have often coincided with technological or ecological change. There have also been periods of great prosperity and stability where “everything” appears to be going well (rarely are these periods truly great for everyone in society). As individuals, few of us can directly impact these broader trends, and this can be difficult to accept. What we can do is to choose how involved we want to be and how we would like our voice to be heard.
 
For example, we can choose to participate in organizing or meeting with like-minded individuals to discuss the issues we find important or meaningful to us. We can choose (in the United States of America), to some degree, who we vote for and if these people match our own values. We can choose if we need to make changes in our lives that might make us feel more satisfied or help us stay in touch with what is important to us. We can also choose to feel hopeful and make more realistic appraisals of our situation and take action, rather than succumb to despair. Allowing ourselves to reflect on one more instance of joy and connection than the day before is a victory. Deciding to try something new and seeing if it helps is a victory. Our brains and hearts are a part of us, and we get a say in how we think and feel.
 
Additionally, it is okay to take a step back and say, “I need some time for myself” or “I need a vacation from the news.” We might benefit from exploring new hobbies or reconnecting with old ones. If you have some healthy connections in your life, spend more time with those people or animals. Even if you skew on the introverted side of the continuum, step outside of your comfort zone and meet new people, or enter a social space even if you aren’t directly interacting, but instead soaking up the time around people. Go on an adventure and explore a part of town or your neighborhood that you have not been to before.
 
Spending all of one’s time worrying about the world and ruminating on misery will likely not benefit us or result in change that could improve our situation. Hope is something that must be cared for and nurtured if it is to bloom, and so creating the conditions in your life to feel hopeful is important. Feeling hopeful can, admittedly, be scary at times because it suggests that things can get better.  This is different from the potential safety of stagnation that suggests there is nothing one can do (cynicism). I genuinely believe that taking the risk of hope and making changes is worth it in the end.
 
I do not want this blog to come across as patronizing or dismissive of the difficulties of the current time. It is valid to feel worried, scared, angry, or disheartened about the direction of your life. I merely encourage you to ask yourself: “Is this helpful for me to be focused on right now, or is there something else I can do that would be more helpful and would feel better?” Perhaps instead of stewing in despair, we try steeping ourselves in hope.

By Gabriel Macfee, LCP, LMLP

Gabriel believes firmly that therapy should promote growth in both the client and practitioner, so he is always focused on learning and working.