ADHD and Lying

 As someone who has worked with many children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and who has ADHD myself, I often encounter a few behaviors that can be frustrating for parents and teachers. One of the most common issues mentioned is that children with ADHD frequently lie about relatively minor issues. This can be incredibly frustrating to parents, as repeated lying sometimes leads them to feel that their child or teen is ignoring their family values of honesty or that there is something “wrong” with their child's character. This is an understandable line of thought for adults who, on average, have high levels of self-discipline or a logical mindset. Some of the main diagnostic features of ADHD can be enlightening on this issue.

The DSM-5 TR by the American Psychiatric Association notes that impulsivity manifests from the hyperactivity portion of attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder and that this impulsivity may manifest as “making important decisions without consideration of long-term consequences” (APA, 2022, p. 70). To put this more plainly, individuals with ADHD often do not consider potential consequences when making decisions, particularly when they are experiencing heightened emotions, as is often the case with children or adolescents. For example, when caught breaking a rule or not following through on a previous request, that child/teen may quickly decide that lying or doubling down with a lie is the best or safest choice to avoid experiencing negative consequences with their caregivers. The adolescent or child often does not foresee that in that moment, they may get in more trouble if they are caught lying, or that their parents could be proud of them for taking accountability and admitting the mistake.
             
So, you may be asking how do I help my child be more successful and avoid lying when emotionally pressed? One simple step that parents can take is to model considerate and patient responses in those situations. Children/adolescents learn from observing individuals they look up to and will likely attempt to emulate the more deliberative and non-plussed approach if it is shown to them. Anecdotally, I can attest to this. I was envious of my parents, who were able to slow down and give more consideration to issues when I was a child and struggled with impulsivity.

Another simple step is to reduce the amount of emotion and urgency in the situation when a child is in trouble. Giving reassurance that the child does not need to offer immediate explanations, reminding them that they can be in less trouble if they are honest. This may provide the incentive for children and teens to tell the truth.

A last basic step is to use targeted praise when children are being honest. An example might be: “I really appreciate you telling the truth that you have not finished your homework yet, thank you.” When giving targeted praise, do not include backhanded comments such as “I wish you would always do that” or “thank you for doing that for once.” Make the praise unambiguously positive and genuine with warmth.

Please stay tuned. Each entry in this series examines a common mental health concern. If you're interested in setting up an appointment to meet with Gabe Macfee, please call us at 785-537-6051 or use our contact page here: ​https://www.manhattanmentalhealthservices.com/contactform.html
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​*American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.). American Psychiatric Association.

By Gabriel Macfee

Gabriel believes firmly that therapy should promote growth in both the client and practitioner, so he is always focused on learning and working.