By Kathryn Tolle
Change is inevitable. Sometimes it can be exciting, other times change can be challenging or even tragic. Even if you are someone who is excited about change and openly embraces it, that does not mean you are immune to the anxiety or uncertainty that can come with change. Though most of us expect to be challenged by change when it is difficult (e.g. losing a job, experiencing a death loss, illness, etc.), it can be surprising and even a bit unsettling when positive change creates anxiety.
There are many exciting changes over the lifespan that, in theory, should bring a lot of happiness (e.g. graduation, getting married, having children) but that does not mean they are seamless or without their own mourning periods. The complicated feelings such changes may bring about can be unexpected. So many times in life we might think ahead of a particular change to somehow predict how we might feel when change occurs. However, we cannot know how we will react to a new phase of life until we are in that phase of life. It is okay to be uncertain and even scared at times. It is also okay to find transitions easier than you thought. The point is learning to accept whatever reaction comes up for you and do your best to share those important reactions with the people you love. It is an opportunity to both feel supported and potentially open communication to be able to provide support to others.
When anxiety follows positive change, you might feel reluctant to speak out. Maybe it feels like you "shouldn't" have negative feelings in reaction to some positive change. You should know that all reactions have validity. They may even help inform you about what is missing. For example, if you just had a child and find yourself often frustrated with your partner for seemingly trivial transgressions, perhaps there is a deeper need. Maybe upon reflection you realize that you are not feeling as supported by them as you would like. Having that conversation could allow your partner to more fully support you, for you to feel more connected, and to get a need met. Instead of chastising yourself for having the feelings you have, maybe it is more helpful to more fully understand your emotions and use them as information to help build better relationships.
I hope you find yourself with many happy changes ahead. I only wanted to remind you of the potential difficulty that comes with any change, even positive change. While most of the time you will likely be able to navigate that change without many bumps and bruises along the way, there may be other times when you need additional support. If you find yourself in this situation, please do not hesitate to reach out to us at 785-537-6051 or email at manhattanmhs@att.net.
Change is inevitable. Sometimes it can be exciting, other times change can be challenging or even tragic. Even if you are someone who is excited about change and openly embraces it, that does not mean you are immune to the anxiety or uncertainty that can come with change. Though most of us expect to be challenged by change when it is difficult (e.g. losing a job, experiencing a death loss, illness, etc.), it can be surprising and even a bit unsettling when positive change creates anxiety.
There are many exciting changes over the lifespan that, in theory, should bring a lot of happiness (e.g. graduation, getting married, having children) but that does not mean they are seamless or without their own mourning periods. The complicated feelings such changes may bring about can be unexpected. So many times in life we might think ahead of a particular change to somehow predict how we might feel when change occurs. However, we cannot know how we will react to a new phase of life until we are in that phase of life. It is okay to be uncertain and even scared at times. It is also okay to find transitions easier than you thought. The point is learning to accept whatever reaction comes up for you and do your best to share those important reactions with the people you love. It is an opportunity to both feel supported and potentially open communication to be able to provide support to others.
When anxiety follows positive change, you might feel reluctant to speak out. Maybe it feels like you "shouldn't" have negative feelings in reaction to some positive change. You should know that all reactions have validity. They may even help inform you about what is missing. For example, if you just had a child and find yourself often frustrated with your partner for seemingly trivial transgressions, perhaps there is a deeper need. Maybe upon reflection you realize that you are not feeling as supported by them as you would like. Having that conversation could allow your partner to more fully support you, for you to feel more connected, and to get a need met. Instead of chastising yourself for having the feelings you have, maybe it is more helpful to more fully understand your emotions and use them as information to help build better relationships.
I hope you find yourself with many happy changes ahead. I only wanted to remind you of the potential difficulty that comes with any change, even positive change. While most of the time you will likely be able to navigate that change without many bumps and bruises along the way, there may be other times when you need additional support. If you find yourself in this situation, please do not hesitate to reach out to us at 785-537-6051 or email at manhattanmhs@att.net.
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